In an August 13, 2003 article entitled Is Mike Gallagher a Closet Homosexual, I made a few tongue-in-cheek observations as to the syndicated radio talk show host’s sexual preference. This same theme was touched upon during a March 13, 2002 broadcast of Blood Real TV where Lisa Guliani teased a balloon-headed likeness of Mike Gallagher about his sexual identity. In both instances, we were relying more on comedic effect than we were on actually taking this situation seriously. After all, how could Mike Gallagher really be gay, especially when he’s been married for ten years and is the adoptive father of four sons?

But after listening to Mike’s radio show on January 14, 2004, I’m beginning to wonder if we were closer to the truth than we had originally suspected. Here’s what happened. That morning before his broadcast, Mike appeared live on Fox & Friends in New York City. (He was in town that week to sign a contract for his upcoming book.) Anyway, during one of the commercial breaks, the hosts asked Mike what he’d been doing during his stay in the Big Apple. Mike told them that since his wife wouldn’t be with him until later in the week, he went out by himself the night before. And what did Mike do? Well, he went to a Rosie O’Donnell musical called Taboo, which covered the life of Boy George!

Yes, you read that correctly. This isn’t a put-on. Here is Mike Gallagher in New York – America’s most exciting city with thousands of different plays, movies, sporting events, night clubs, museums, and other hot spots; and where – of all these selections – does he decide to go? To a play produced by avowed lesbian and extreme left-wing crackpot Rosie O’Donnell. Even more peculiar is the subject matter – Boy George – the gayest cross-dresser in rock n’ roll history. There is something so squirrely and downright creepy about this situation that it makes me shudder. At that point I started to wonder if Mike Gallagher was leading some sort of secretive double life.

With that notion in mind, let’s take a moment to look at what’s really taking place. On the one hand we have Mike Gallagher, supposedly a conservative, Republican talk show host. But on the other hand, this same guy admits to liking Broadway show tunes, attends Barry Manilow concerts, gets his fingernails manicured, and regularly gets massaged by a male masseur. Now he’s going to a Rosie O’Donnell play that is based on the life of glam-queen Boy George. Not only does this scenario produce some very bizarre images of Pee Wee Herman in a darkened movie theater, but try to picture what kind of people were seated around Mike during this production – people he CHOSE to surround himself with. I’m sure the attendees were 95% homosexual, with cross-dressers, transsexuals, the bondage & discipline crowd, and every other type of sexual freak in New York City. This seems like a far cry from the typical right-wing suit & tie crowd befitting a good upstanding Conservative. In fact, something seems downright queer (in an ‘odd’ sort of way) about this whole affair. I wonder if Mike had visions of sugar plum fairies dancing through his head while he watched Taboo. Heck, if this was a Saturday Night Live skit, they might actually have him wearing pink leotards and a frilly pink brassiere beneath his ‘normal’ clothes when he went to the Plymouth Theater.

But, being that I’m a fair-minded person who is willing to give anyone the benefit of the doubt, here is what we plan on doing. Next month, we are going to contact Mike Gallagher’s people and try to set up an interview with him. After giving him an opportunity to “set the record straight” about the numerous lies he’s told (all chronicled in The Gallagher Chronicles), we want to ask him point-blank: “Mike Gallagher, are you a closet homosexual?” In addition, we’ll ask him if his favorite road is the Hershey Highway, if he’s ever had Freudian dreams of being perched atop the Empire State Building, or if he longs to make sweet music with Elton John.

The thing that most pleases me about this whole sordid affair is that E.D. Hill and/or Steve Doocy of Fox & Friends decided to OUT Mike on their morning show. I mean, if they had simply kept their mouths shut, Mike would have been able to keep leading his other “secret life” – a secret life that involves Rosie O’Donnell and Boy George on a lonely night in New York City. I’ll tell ya, there must be absolutely no loyalty among the crew at Fox News. First Mike talks out-of-school about Bill O’Reilly running for president (and even sends us an e-mail about it), then Steve & E.D. let the cat out of the bag about Mike tiptoeing through the tulips on Broadway. What’s next? Is Eric Hansen going to write a tell-all book about what really goes on behind-the-scenes at The Mike Gallagher Show? If he does, we better all wear condoms while reading it because there’s something that’s just not right about this Gallagher guy.

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Exit stage left as Boy George sings “Do you really want to hurt me, do you really want to make me cry” while Rosie O’Donnell kisses a framed photograph of Mike Gallagher and chuckles, “Birds of a feather really do stick together!”