New on Video --- This film was somewhat neglected in its theatrical release

From Harvard Square in Boston, a female student has been kidnapped. But this is not just any student. This is Laura Newton, the daughter of state senator Newton running for re-election. She must be retrieved before the press gets a hold of the story on Monday morning. This leaves just the weekend. What to do? Bring in “the Master Gunner,” Robert Scott (Val Kilmer) of the secret service who, on assignment, will do any bloodthirsty thing on earth to find the missing person in a world where everybody is an evil tough guy.

Thus we have another hard-boiled film written and directed by strange ranger, David Mamet. We hear that he’s a mean-bean on the set, but he’s the undisputed king of dialogue. As critic David Thomson has suggested, his people converse like a ping-pong game. It’s not realism. It’s a staccato chatter; idiomatic and cryptic to say the least. (See “Glengarry Glen Ross” and “The Spanish Prisoner”)

Val Kilmer is one of our fine actors who in his career has given us at least two great performances: as Jim Morrison in “The Doors,” and he stole the show as Doc Holliday in “Tombstone.”

Scott will need an excellent sidekick chosen from the elite fatigue-clad rangers. By lottery two are chosen and are taken to a room to physically fight each other as the top cadre watches. Scott is so cool he doesn’t even stay to watch. He knows who’s going to win right away and leaves the room. The winner (Derek Luke) joins him later to introduce himself … “Curtis” - … but Scott cuts him off … says he doesn’t want to know his name. (He knows quite likely that this young man will be dead by the time the intrigue is over.) But this ranger turns out to be a brick, time after time picking-up clues before Scott. And most of all, he cares.

Back at headquarters, the senator’s “handlers” bust in and want the skinny on what’s been learned about the missing daughter. The big chief among these is a schmuck who looks like a vicious Al Bundy. (I said Al Bundy, not Ted Bundy.) With him is Stoddard (William H. Macy). These are mean men. They know that the girl was taken because her father took away her security and used it for himself while he went out on the town tomcatting and cheating on his wife, a pastime he has engaged in frequently over the years.

She was last seen at the Blacklight Club at Fenway Park, a place known for “old guys” picking up young women who are available. At the club, Scott finds the “matchmaker” and outside beats the snot out of him, breaking his arm and ready to take out his eye when the pimp reveals the bordello to which she was taken, which in minutes is crammed with secret service men. From the snapshots on the wall Curtis tells Scott which house-girl will talk – and does: “She was here – a blonde … sick … was given a shot and taken away.” It’s at this point they realize the captors don’t know who they’ve got! The story twists on this point. Surveillance devices are placed everywhere, even nearby pay phones. Next tip: the girl is being held in a cottage at the seashore. Scott and Curtis hit the beach and have an OK Corral shootout, killing two bad guys. But again, no girl. Scott phones the choppers above to ‘abort.’

The next teaser comes through a phone tap – from all places, a federal prison, from a Lebanese national – “Life without parole” – for kidnapping – the second man in a sex slavery scheme. He’s being transported, shackled to another prisoner who’s slated to be executed. At a designated point, Scott nabs the two in a quick gunfight. And knowing he must travel light, he kills death row boy after a quick beer, thus freeing up the Islamo convict and off they go. The prisoner is eternally grateful – promising Scott riches, happiness, and girls – blonde-haired girls. Just to get him to a plane tonight, there’s a girl out being pipelined to Yemen. The trusty Curtis is always somewhere near Scott, but at a rest-stop the Islamo convict grabs a loose rifle and tries to shoot Scott, but misses and hits Curtis, who goes down. Scott turns and kills the Islamo-in-orange, another “abort.” The unit that had been following every mile of the way packs up and goes back to HQ to make plans for a flight to Yemen to “safely extract the hostage.” (Well, that’s how they talk.) The film takes a breath for the first time.

Meanwhile, a fake story has been floated to the media gerbils that Laura was found drowned at Martha’s Vineyard – this to buy time for the Yemen “extraction.” But something’s afoot and Curtis, back on his feet with his arm in a sling, is the first to sense it. He persuades the cynical Scott to take another look-see at the beach-house where he saw the girl’s symbol with which she signed all letters: a cross-eyed-like marking … %-) … signifying she sees the world cockeyed like Picasso. The two men are not at the beach more than minutes when nice guy Curtis gets his head blown off by a shot from a big boat cruising near shore. Scott escapes through the wetlands knowing now that he’s facing an internal affairs enemy, and that his dead sidekick was right all along.

First stop: “The Chinaman who saw Jesus” (Oh, Mamet!) who is a middle-eastern man who knows the Yemen terrain and sets Scott up for the trip: plane, papers, money and someone to meet him and help. The “Chinaman” knows the whole deal: the women are taken to a compound, a holding-pen for fresh talent. From there they’re put into service at the Hotel Royale in Dubai – whores for the international crowd.

Scott and his new agent see the girl being dragged out of the compound, and after a horrendous gun battle Scott gets away with the screaming young woman jumping over a mess of dead Islamos.

In a room, she awakens, still crazy-scared; but Scott calms her down and they talk. And finally we meet Laura (Kristen Bell), who tells a story of ancient Greece. Here we learn the meaning of the title, “Spartan” … very cool. But they must haul-ass, and he hands her a berka to wear. She says, “What’s the matter, you don’t like blondes?” Says Scott, “The whole world likes blondes. That’s why you’re here!”

He and Laura race to the takeoff runway, and at the same time mean Macy and company make the scene. Scott is shot – but not out. Macy grabs Laura and gives her to a ranger, who takes her to his car. But he doesn’t realize that the ranger is one of Scott’s people who rushes her to the plane. Macy sees what’s going down and kills the lady ranger dead, then tries to shoot Laura when – well, you’ll see for yourself. The plane flies off into the desert night with Laura safely aboard.

Video screens blare out Laura’s homecoming on international cable stations throughout the world, regrets are given for the bogus drowning story which the family was “forced to exploit” to distract the kidnappers (who didn’t even know who she was)!

Video images show her sinister father, the Senator, hug her as she jumps off the chopper. TV-speak is heard by your generic anchorman with maudlin commentary about another great American story: how we all love our daughters in this great land of ours.

Scott watches this crock-of-shit at a TV store. He knows the truth and must hide for the rest of his life, as he walks off into a London night. It’s not so much that the media was deceiving - they were downright lying!

Here at WING TV, media lies and cover-ups are exposed in every issue. Your reviewer, for the sake of my own sanity, tends to stand back from the more ghastly disclosures of the people who run the world: our leaders here in the USA. Could they be so devious and depraved? But along comes David Mamet’s “Spartan” and my core beliefs are nine-elevened. Why should this be so? Because, for me, art and fiction convey truths more convincingly about the world we live in.