Isn’t it funny how certain scandals remain in the media forever (Scott & Laci Peterson, Pee Wee Herman, Amy Fisher, Kobe Bryant, etc), while others seem to disappear almost immediately? A perfect example is Bill O’Reilly's phone-sex brouhaha. It vanished off the radar screen with lightning speed, and absolutely nobody in the mainstream media is pursuing the story. Why? This tale has everything - sex, fame, power, hush money - that could have been splashed across not only The New York Times, but also every grocery store scandal sheet in the country. But inexplicably, journalists from Albany to Albuquerque have dropped it like a hot potato … all of them except me.

Y’see, I want to know if Bill O’Reilly is one of those lecherous old perverts that likes to breathe heavy over the telephone and talk dirty to unsuspecting young women. Or, is Bill O’Reilly, the staunch purveyor of “traditional” values, really a pathetic voyeur who gets his jollies from watching women masturbate? Or, last but certainly not least, does the “well-respected” Bill O’Reilly have such an unhealthy obsession with vibrators that he actually sodomizes himself with them to get off?

Inquiring minds want to know; but since the mainstream media (even the left) is closing ranks to protect its own, this issue was quickly buried. Where are Al Franken, Alan Colmes, Michael Moore and Paul Begala? O’Reilly rakes these guys through the coals every day, yet they sit suspiciously quiet like mutes at a mime festival. This sort of cowardice isn’t good enough for me, especially when there is so much rampant hypocrisy involved.

So, let’s cut to the chase. Is Bill O’Reilly a degenerate sex pervert? The answer, I believe, can be found in his reaction to this scandal, for never once did he deny that he engaged in the type of behavior described by Andrea Mackris in her court papers. This point is vital, for O’Reilly obfuscated the entire debacle with his “extortion counter-suit” which drew attention away from the original tawdry charges.

Why would O’Reilly use such a tactic? The answer is simple --- he didn’t want anyone hearing his voice on those sordid sex tapes that Andrea Mackris recorded. And believe me; these tapes exist, for the AP’s Samuel Maull reported on October 29, 2004 that O’Reilly’s lawyer, Ronald Green, said, “I know that he does not fear what is on the tapes.”

If this statement is true, why did Bill O’Reilly so frantically race to settle out-of-court one day before Mackris was to prevent this evidence in court? Isn’t O’Reilly the one who said he’d fight these charges until the bitter end, and that “these people picked the wrong guy” to mess with? Even more suspicious is the fact that, according to radio talk show host Mike Gallagher, Bill O’Reilly paid between $2-10 million out of his own pocket to keep his little gal-pal quiet. (By the way, I scoured news sources everywhere, and the only person who disclosed this settlement amount was Gallagher, who seems to have a penchant for talking out-of-school about Bill O’Reilly --- see: The Gallagher Chronicles.)

Another under-reported facet of this case is Andrea Mackris’ lawsuit itself. She initially sought damages from not only O’Reilly, but also the Fox News Channel, 20th Century Fox, and Westwood One --- some of the most powerful media conglomerates in the world. Now, if the charges against O’Reilly were so unfounded, these forces, with their lawyers, money, and might, could have litigated this unknown young woman into oblivion. But O’Reilly – and O’Reilly alone – settled out-of-court faster than quite possibly any other out-of-court settlement in the history of the world – all to the tune of many millions of dollars.

Why? Don’t all of these peculiarities make you wonder what Bill O’Reilly is so afraid of? What do these tapes hold that has this man quivering like a little girl? Could it be that his raunchy, naughty sex talk could destroy his career, credibility, and legacy within a heartbeat? Or, as Art Buchwald opined in Steaming up the Receiver (October 28, 2004): “Some people think O’Reilly is a sanctimonious buffoon. He is always preaching moral values to the multitudes and attacking those he doesn’t believe have any.”

But now the tables are turned, and O’Reilly, who recently released a self-help book for children, comes across as a pathetic moral reprobate who engages his dirtiest fantasies at 1-800-HOT-SLUT lines. The big question for every head-in-the-sand Fox News devotee is: would you let your teenage daughter call Bill O’Reilly at 1:00 in the morning? If the answer is “yes,” then you’d probably also let your eight-year old son spend the night alone at a Michael Jackson sleepover.

Anyway, will Bill O’Reilly, the originator of the “no-spin zone,” fess up to all of these accusations? Of course not, for one of the stipulations attached to his hush-money payoff to Andrea Mackris was that he “will never speak of it again.” Why? Supposedly (or conveniently) it was to keep from further disgracing his wife and children. But if we check the facts (which is what Bill O’Reilly says he’s based his entire career on), we’ll find that HE was the first one to drag his wife into this sordid mess. I’m sure he remembers this passage from court papers filed at the New York State Supreme Court on October 13, 2004:

        O’Reilly to Mackris: “Just use your vibrator to blow off steam.” When the plaintiff         reddened, O’Reilly asked lewdly, “What, you’ve got a vibrator don’t you? Every girl does.”         When the Plaintiff responded indignantly, “No, they don’t. Does your wife?” O’Reilly         replied, “Yes, in fact she does. She’d kill me if she knew I was telling you.”

A real class-act, don’t you think? I could include an array of other juicy tidbits, but you can read all about it in my article: Bill O’Reilly’s Tawdry Sex Case on WING TV. So instead, let’s do this, Mr. O’Reilly. Since you’re the one who proclaims every day on your radio and TV shows that you won’t tolerate any gas bags, phonies, bullshit artists or spin-meisters; why don’t you put your money where your mouth is and come clean? Better yet, I challenge you right here and now to have Andrea Mackris release her sex tapes for the world to hear. That would be something very admirable for the king of No-Spin to do, don’t you think? I mean, c’mon, you wouldn’t tolerate your own behavior for a moment; so why should we be expected to accept it from you? It doesn’t seem quite right, does it?

So, Bill, the ball is now in your court. I’ll try to contact you at Fox News for a response, and will also write a No-Spin follow-up in exactly three weeks from today. Everybody’s waiting to see if you’ll hide, or if you’ll be a stand-up guy that lets the world see what is lurking behind his façade. It’s YOUR turn, Bill --- now YOU’RE in the No-Spin Zone!!!

End Note: Why do we in the alternative press keep allowing the mainstream media to set the agenda of what is "news"? Why are they the ones to determine when a story is born, how long it runs, and when it dies? Being that we're not confined by the same restraints as they are (i.e corporate sponsors and advertisers), we should be the ones going after creeps like O'Reilly instead of so readily letting them off the hook. If the alternative media ever wants to forge ahead into new territory, this is one of the first lessons they're going to have to learn - we have to take control of the new media!